Okay...Melissa is calling this "an adventure"...aren't those supposed to be fun or something to look forward to?? I am not having fun....but, I guess it is more than just about me. =( I want to be selfish and tell her to stay. OR maybe, I will put nails in her driveway!! hehe...soooo kidding! I am sitting here at 11:30 at night (when I should be getting my zzz'sss) and making her a CD. A VERY depressing CD! I must listen to the music first...and seriously, each song has a special meaning that brings tears to my eyes. Do you know how hard it is to listen to songs like "Open Arms", "The Reason", "So Small", "Somebody's Me", "No Air" "In between Days", "Don't think I don't think about it", "Let It Go", and so on...without getting sad on your best day!! Hopefully, she loves it though. Maybe, I will add some fun songs to! I figured I would put our pictures on the CD...and then she cannot forget me! That is my worst fear out of all of this...that Mackenzie will forget me! Kendalynn doesn't have that capability yet...she cannot remember me at this moment, therefore...she cannot forget me!
Anyways, I had a nice day! I saw three wonderful girls! I wish I would have ended my stubborness about 5 weeks ago....but, I guess things can only be at there best and meant from the heart...when you are ready! Also, I picked out a new camera for my birthday. I would like to know where the suspense goes after being together for 10 years?? I picked out all my presents for the first time, this year. I should not complain...he is very generous...actually he always has been. I used to beg him to buy me CHEAP jewlery...you know $15 or cheaper...but, he does not know what that is! Gosh, I sound like a terrible wife...sorry!
I had an epiphany today! Hopefully, I am using this word right!! I have decided to forgive everyone! I will let everything go. You know, it is good for the soul...and believe me...your sanity! I think I need to work on this a tad with Christopher. But, I had a real heart to heart with him today...and I think he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is too short to worry about who said what...who did what...who wants to hurt you. If you live your life like that, then you are definitely missing out. I've listened to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, about 20 times tonight...and that song sums up alot. Life is an uphill battle, and you do need to loose sometimes! Well, I will consider myself the looser...and move on! I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe Melissa leaving has made me look deeper into things, than what is right in front of me.
Well, I must stop with the distractions and finish this CD! Hopefully, I get atleast 5 hours of sleep...I cannot sleep lately and I hate it! Nighty Night!
Anyways, I had a nice day! I saw three wonderful girls! I wish I would have ended my stubborness about 5 weeks ago....but, I guess things can only be at there best and meant from the heart...when you are ready! Also, I picked out a new camera for my birthday. I would like to know where the suspense goes after being together for 10 years?? I picked out all my presents for the first time, this year. I should not complain...he is very generous...actually he always has been. I used to beg him to buy me CHEAP jewlery...you know $15 or cheaper...but, he does not know what that is! Gosh, I sound like a terrible wife...sorry!
I had an epiphany today! Hopefully, I am using this word right!! I have decided to forgive everyone! I will let everything go. You know, it is good for the soul...and believe me...your sanity! I think I need to work on this a tad with Christopher. But, I had a real heart to heart with him today...and I think he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is too short to worry about who said what...who did what...who wants to hurt you. If you live your life like that, then you are definitely missing out. I've listened to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, about 20 times tonight...and that song sums up alot. Life is an uphill battle, and you do need to loose sometimes! Well, I will consider myself the looser...and move on! I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe Melissa leaving has made me look deeper into things, than what is right in front of me.
Well, I must stop with the distractions and finish this CD! Hopefully, I get atleast 5 hours of sleep...I cannot sleep lately and I hate it! Nighty Night!