Okay, I got in the shower this morning and almost started hyperventilating! A shower, as much as I hate them, should be relaxing! Maybe it is because 2 out of 3 songs that we have dedicated to Madyson came on the iPod...but, I got so upset over my thoughts. We are raising our daughter to leave us. I know she is only 8 years old and it will be quite some time before she abandons us for a boy. But, I am petrified of these thoughts. She is MINE! I carried her for 9 months! I saw her take her first breath! I made her smile for the first time! I wipe away her tears when friends make her sad. I take care of her when she is sick! How am I suppose to just give her away to another family? This blog is not helping my emotions. I can actually feel my heart pounding in my chest. I love her with everything, unconditionally. I miss her when she is at school. She forgot her Valentines in the car this morning...the bus driver would not let her run back to the car to get them (meany)! So, I ran in front of a big bus IN PAJAMAS (tacky) and forced the bus driver to take them! I will do anything in my power to not see my daughter sad! I am not sure why I do not have these fears for my sons yet...maybe it is because she is my only daughter! I pray often for her to meet the right boy and to live a life that fulfills all of her hopes and dreams. I just hope that our time on this earth always involves a closeness between her and I! I hope that her daddy doesn't scare away every boy that she dates...or maybe I do hope he does! haha! I hope she always knows how much she is loved by me!
Feb 11, 2011
I loved her first!
Okay, I got in the shower this morning and almost started hyperventilating! A shower, as much as I hate them, should be relaxing! Maybe it is because 2 out of 3 songs that we have dedicated to Madyson came on the iPod...but, I got so upset over my thoughts. We are raising our daughter to leave us. I know she is only 8 years old and it will be quite some time before she abandons us for a boy. But, I am petrified of these thoughts. She is MINE! I carried her for 9 months! I saw her take her first breath! I made her smile for the first time! I wipe away her tears when friends make her sad. I take care of her when she is sick! How am I suppose to just give her away to another family? This blog is not helping my emotions. I can actually feel my heart pounding in my chest. I love her with everything, unconditionally. I miss her when she is at school. She forgot her Valentines in the car this morning...the bus driver would not let her run back to the car to get them (meany)! So, I ran in front of a big bus IN PAJAMAS (tacky) and forced the bus driver to take them! I will do anything in my power to not see my daughter sad! I am not sure why I do not have these fears for my sons yet...maybe it is because she is my only daughter! I pray often for her to meet the right boy and to live a life that fulfills all of her hopes and dreams. I just hope that our time on this earth always involves a closeness between her and I! I hope that her daddy doesn't scare away every boy that she dates...or maybe I do hope he does! haha! I hope she always knows how much she is loved by me!